A Tribute

At my medical school graduation

My grandmother passed away 2 weeks ago.  She had just turned 88.  She lived a long and mostly happy life, but had not really been physically able for the last few years and was very sick for the last few months, so it was her time.  A few months ago she had a major stroke which prevented her from saying more than "Hi" and causing her to become very frustrated that she could not express herself.  Despite knowing that it was for the best, losing someone you love is never easy.  Being 7,800 miles away did not make it any easier. She was incredibly proud of her 3 sons, and their partners, and her 4 grandchildren.   She loved to brag to her friends, and anyone else who would listen, about what her children and grandchildren were up to. She was an avid reader of this blog, when she was able and later liked to have it read to her by my father and look at the pictures.  So I thought it only fitting to have a small tribute to her here. 

Sonia Scherzer (Sunny as she was called by everyone, Grandma to me, and Grandma Beady as she was aptly named by Daniel (and later Sarah) - for her love of beaded necklaces) was a wonderful grandmother.

Trying on the cap and gown with her four grandchildren

Though she was clear that she would have preferred for everyone to live and work in Queens so she could see them everyday, she was also proud that her offspring were globetrotters (some of us more than others).  She herself loved to travel and lamented the fact that she was not able to visit me in Africa – one of the few continents she had never been. 

I can only speak for the last 31 years of her 88-year life, but I feel so lucky to have gotten to know her so well.  I think all would agree that Grandma was a very opinionated, strong willed person who could be very demanding at times, but she was also an incredibly honest, loving, and kindhearted person.  She could, and would, talk to anyone and everyone, and random strangers always felt comfortable telling her everything.   I remember several times when I met her in NY City after she had taken the bus in from Queens and she would tell me the life story of the person who had sat next to her on the bus ride in.  Inevitably they would have shared their problems with her and she would have provided suggestions to them.  She would go on elder hostel trips and easily make new friends.  On our trip to Israel together, when I was 13, I remember how easily she became good friends with the other grandparents.  Though she was at times sad that she was one of the few single grandparents on the trip, she never let that stop her.  For most of her life she had a very active social life of bridge games, dinners out, movie nights and scrabble.  Social work was definitely her calling, and though she was officially retired in my lifetime, she continued to provide “counseling” and advice to her friends and also to random strangers.  

She was an avid reader and loved to recommend books for me to read and get recommendations from me, we shared a love of Jodi Picoult books.  She was a big tennis fan as well and could watch the tennis channel for hours on end, though at the end of her life she was not always sure who was playing, it didn't matter to her.  I will always have fond memories of playing tennis with her in Florida and upstate NY.  Even though I was never particularly good at tennis, she never gave up on me and was happy to play and give pointers.  She had a supreme patience for board games and was happy playing hours upon hours of Monopoly or other such games with her grandchildren. 

We also shared a birthday month and it was often jointly celebrated during Thanksgiving.

She was also an avid knitter and needle pointer.  She, and my mother, taught me to knit and needle point when I was 8 and she passed her love of knitting to me for sure.  She always wanted to know what I was knitting and in the last few years was excited to share her comments over Skype.  She did not get to see my last few knitting projects, when I have branched out into toys....

Over the last 10 years she was so lucky to be expertly carried for by Maxine, and in the last 2 years Charlene and Dimples as well.  Though she was certainly not an easy patient, and not always the best at showing her gratitude, she did appreciate the loving care she received from them and I know she was very thankful that their care (and the devotion of her sons to her wishes) enabled her to stay in her home rather than having to be in the hospital – a place she hated more than any other!  The devotion of her sons to caring, visiting (even coordinating schedules to make sure that someone was there at least once a week – and usually more frequently), and making sure that her wishes were carried out was a true tribute to her and a great example for me and the rest of her grandchildren. 

At Aaron's college graduation

She will continue to live on in all of our memories and actions.  For me she will be ever present in my love for knitting, my inability to have dry eyes at special occasions (happy or sad), my strong-willed sprit, my love for travel, and my pride in and commitment to my family.  Grandma you will be missed, but most definitely not forgotten.  We all love you.